Motherhood from the Perspective of Three Different Moms

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and while there is not a lot that most of us can do at this time to celebrate with our mothers, I did want to make a small post to celebrate them. This week, I talked to three mother’s that have a huge impact in my life. These women are all different, from their personalities to their age, and how many children they have. I thought it would be great to get insight from mothers in all stages of life to celebrate this time. I chose five questions to have these moms answer. They were:

1.How many children do you have?

2. What’s your favorite part about being a mom?

3.What’s your favorite memory of your kids?

4.Do you think your kids are more like you or their dad?

5.What is your least favorite thing about being a mom?

My mom and me

First, I asked my own mother. If you know me, you know that my mom and I have a strange relationship. She’s my best friend, but it’s more like a friendship where you get really mad at each other and don’t talk for a while, but then when you see each other again it’s like you were never apart. We have been through so much together and I really wouldn’t trade her or our relationship for the world.Here are her responses to my questions:

I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to answer these questions, but I can’t and I don’t know any mother that could.  Except for the first question of course. I have four kids. Olivia, Dylan, Andrew, and Kadyn.

You are asking me to look back and pick a moment that means the most and I can’t because there’s no one specific answer to these questions. How am I supposed to tell you what the best part about being a mom when the truth is, I don’t remember what it’s like NOT to be a mom.  I guess if I can’t remember what my life was like before I became a mother then it must not have meant very much.

Everyone has the idea that motherhood enables you to feel a particular kind of appreciation that is unique to the experience of parenting a child but for me, parenting is a kind of time travel. On the one hand, I can look at my children and I see them not just for who they are, but for who they are becoming. They give me these glimpses into the future (which, in turn, gives me hope that the world isn’t going to continue to be a massive dumpster fire). To sit here and try to tell you or anyone else a favorite memory I have with my kids is impossible because every moment that I have spent with my children is my favorite memory. I see my kids experiencing things for the first time and remembering how I felt to have similar experiences as a child, but yet it somehow feels brand new to me.

I really don’t know who my kids are more like. It’s almost like God picked two of the most imperfect people and put them together to create a masterpiece. You, Olivia, have your dad’s strength and determination but your love for writing, list making (lol), love of coffee, and finding beauty in the little things, I would like to think came from me. I know your wild & crazy side definitely did. Ha!

The best and worst part of being a mother is…well, being a mother. Watching your child grow up to actually be a good and responsible adult is bittersweet. On one hand I’m proud of them but on the other hand, it’s terrifying because I can’t protect them anymore. I can’t monitor who they talk to, where they go, or what they do. I have to trust them, and trust is not something I’m good at; and I know it’s selfish of me to say but the hardest part is being alone. Knowing that they don’t need me anymore. There are books on how to raise a child, how to cope with losing a child but no one ever tells you how to let them go as they grow. My kids are my world. Everything I am is because of them.

My grandma and me

Next, I asked my grandmother. My grandmother is my person. She has always been there for me. She is probably the person I am closest with other than Cody. Here were her responses to my questions:

I birthed two. My favorite part about being a mom is seeing they’re smiles, getting hugs and love, and seeing them succeed as adults, and as parents themselves.

I have so many memories. In my mind, I see Brandy’s large smile as she holds her new brother for the first time. For brandy, it’s carting around a large Siamese cat by its front legs then stuffing said cat into a doll carriage. Jamie loved his trucks and toys. He would sit watching tv with this collection of trucks , cars and action figures .

Are your kids more like you or their father? This is an interesting question. Jamie is like his dad in the sense that he can seem to separate himself from things. So, I guess he seems to have more of his dad’s personality and Brandy more mine.

My least favorite thing is when they were babies, having to leave them to go to work.  After their dad and I divorced, having to tell them no for things they wanted or wanted to do because I couldn’t afford it.

I will add that both had many influences in their lives which enriched them. My dad spent lots of time with them both since their own father didn’t. They had playmates in their cousins and were brought on adventures by my parents. Hopefully they both will look back on their lives with fondness

My mother-in-law and me

The last mother that I asked to answer these questions was my mother in law. I know there are a lot of jokes and stereotypes about women hating their mother-in-law, but I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better one or a better family to be married into. I asked her these question’s because she is my other mother and she raised the man I married, so I wanted to see her perspective of motherhood.  Here are her responses:

I have three children. My favorite part of being a mom has been to watch three tiny little humans grow up to be three amazing adults that can do anything they put their minds to.

I have so many favorite memories of all three but some of my favorite times were in our living room just listening to them laugh and play with one another. I always loved nighttime’s after everyone had their baths and we would sit and read stories or sing songs.

I think all three are a lot like both of us. Looks wise, I would say Lila looks most like Richard, Bella looks most like me, and Cody looks like his Podner. Personality wise, I think they all three have a lot of each of our traits.

I don’t have a least favorite thing about being a mom. It’s the hardest job I think there is and there’s never a day off once you become a mom but I wouldn’t ever say that I dislike even one thing about it.

As you can see, each woman had their own unique way of responding. They have all experienced motherhood differently and they are each in a different place in motherhood.  Motherhood is not something that one woman can describe and define for the whole world because it is different for everyone and that is beautiful. I am not a mother myself, but I loved hearing these answers from these moms and seeing how unique motherhood really is. Thanks for reading and if you are a mom, happy belated Mother’s Day!